Whatever You Say, Doc!
by JediKnightNightTerra
Summary: Dante passes out on a devil hunting job out of his city. Warning: This has spoilers for my upcoming series. You don't like, don't read. No pairings will happen...I don't know. I keep changing my mind. No pairings.
1. Chapter 1

This is a spoiler crossover story between House and Devil May Cry…I posted it because it's been bugging the crap out of me. It's like an ich that wouldn't go away…

Warning: This story has spoilers of my "Noah the Devil Huntress" series and if you don't like, don't read.

DO NOT FLAME ME FOR IT!!! IT WAS BUGGING ME!!! Btw, I don't own House or Devil May Cry….Lol I wish.

Chapter 1: "Symptoms of Stupidity"

Noah was running pretty fast. She zoomed passed people and children, trying not to run them over and hopefully, some doctor could help the unconscious Dante on her back. 'What on Earth could be wrong with him? I thought half demons couldn't get sick….?' She asked herself.

Of coarse, she was one herself, but, most of her life, she was kept in the dark. Meeting the Hellsing Organization, she and her former friend, Tess, got caught in an ongoing war between vampires, demons, and of coarse, humans. Meeting her father, a demon lord who was pretty much behind the whole war fiasco, awakened the demon inside her. She learned how her mother really died, and that he was behind it. For that, she now holds a grudge against him, and will stop at nothing to destroy him.

Dante had agreed to help. And boy, did she need it. At first, she couldn't handle the constant act of being "hit on", but it got easy to deal with after she started threatening his manhood. He immediately, stopped doing his childish acts around her. He did, however, "compliment" on how big her breasts were. It still got on her nerves, but she managed to ignore it.

It just pissed her off when other guys did so. Strangely enough, she could manage Dante's "compliments", but not other perverts. At least, it was strange to her.

Dante coughed, blood spewing from his lips. He was pale; paler than his normal skin color and his eye color was beginning to turn red.

"Not good, he's about to instinctively devil trigger…" she said to herself. She put him down, flat on his back, and moved ten feet away from him. She held her breath as he triggered. Almost immediately after triggering, he went back to his human form again. She stared at him as her opened one eye, then, the other.

She rushed to his side, still unable to sense his condition. Although, he still looked pretty bad, he was now conscious…and rubbing her ass. She fought the urge to punch him. "Dante…Will you quit that, please?" she hissed through her teeth.

"I can't help it…" he said, hoarsely and weak. He was smiling; though, it was also weak from his condition.

"God, you're such an idiot." She hissed. He chuckled and fell unconscious again.

She stared at him and blushed. 'He's cute when he sleeps.' She thought. Realizing what she thought just now, her face went redder than Hinata Hyuuga. 'Oh, God…What am I thinking? That's not right…He….' Her mind trailed off to that dreaded memory…

They were both drunk out of their ever loving minds, and when they arrived home…Well, let's just say it wasn't nice for Dante the next day. He frequently teased her about it….and it just got on her nerves, that much more.

She tried her best to shake off that damn memory…but it didn't work. It was like an incurable disease to her. 'You just had to trick me into that bar room…' she glared at him. 'I'm gonna kill you when you wake up, Dante.' She thought silently before she grabbed him, and positioned him on her back. She began running like hell as the rain began to fall.

-Hospital-

House wobbled over to Cuddy's office. She was in the middle of a meeting, so he decided to get her attention by pointing a laser at her breasts. The two people she was having a meeting with, noticed the red dot on her chest and pointed at it. She looked down, then, followed the laser to its owner outside her door. She went red at the embarrassing position she was in. She rushed out her room as the two people stared at her.

"House! What are you doing? Don't you see I'm busy?" she stared at him, waiting for a reply. He just stared down at her and smiled. "Those people can wait. I want a raise." He said out of the blue. She frowned at him.

"Are you still bugging me about a raise? You never give up." She shook her head. He just stared at her. She suddenly caved under his stare. "I'll think about it."

He grinned happily at her. "It's about time you gave in." his face was closer to hers. She was redder now than she was in the room.

"Don't even think about it." She growled.

"I wasn't." he protested. He pulled his face out of her atmosphere so she can catch a breath. She breathed in and out to catch up with her breathing.

They heard a voice down the hall. When they looked to see who it was, they saw a brunette with a limp, silver haired guy on her back. She was wearing a white collar shirt that was wet and revealing her black turtle neck half shirt. Her long, Japanese style skirt was wet and sticking to her combat boots. They just stared as they walked over to her.

"How do you think she can carry him like that? I mean, the guy on her back looks well over a hundred pounds." Cuddy nearly whispered to House. She looked up at him…Only to find out he wasn't paying attention to her. He was practically drooling over the girl in front of them. She frowned at him.

"Ummm…."Noah looked confused. She coughed to get their attention. "I have a sick Devil Hunter here, can anyone just pay attention to me, just for one second?" she said aggravatedly. Her eye was twitching now, because the guy in front of her was drooling over her breasts, and the girl was glaring at the guy who was drooling over breasts.

She coughed again. "Didn't you hear me? I have a SICK Devil Hunter here, and he needs medical attention, and I assume you two are doctors, so can you help me?" She nearly shouted. It got their attention. 'Finally…' she thought. They looked at her with a dumbfounded look. She glared at them with a look that would scare even the baddest of bad guys.

They stared at her. She stared back at them. "A little help here…Please?"

Well, that's chapter one. Review please.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, I'm back… I was currently helping my aunt nurse a stray kitten back to health and on top of that my dog is sick. So, if I don't update anytime soon, it's probably because I was either at school, or helping out with the animals.

Chapter 2: "Dante and the nurses"

After Noah had checked Dante in the hospital, she was asked tons of questions and made to put on REALLY small scrubs. Her chest was poking out for crying out loud! "Ugh…This is embarrassing…." She muttered to herself. Men and women both stared at her, though, the men were drooling and the women were fuming. She hated those damn looks…It always made her look like the bad person when she couldn't help that her breasts were genetically big because of her late mother.

It really wasn't them she was worried about. It was that Dr. House guy that worried her. Hell, his cain and his beard worried her…And that look he gave her. It was like she was a tasty lollipop he wanted to lick all over. She hated when people gave her that look. It gave her the heebie- jeebies. "Lately, Dante has been giving me that look…despite the threats." she hissed under her breath.

A figure in a white coat appeared behind her. "Miss Noah…" he tapped her shoulder, totally scaring the ever living crap out of her.

"AHH! What do you want?" She turned around to see a guy, not much younger than she was, with a shocked look on his face.

"S-sorry…didn't mean to startle you but, your boyfriend is hitting on all the nurses that come in his room. Can you come with me?" he asked in a strange accent. Her eye twitched maniacally when he said "boyfriend" in front of her like that.

"Look. He isn't my boyfriend. If I had a relationship with that guy I would die from so much annoyance. Now, kid. Tell me exactly what he is doing." She said in assurance, annoyance, and worriedly for the female nurses. The doctor stared at her, trying to process what she just said in his mind. "Uh… He's chasing the nurses around, squeezing their butts, saying really vulgar things to them…" He trailed off. She shook her head in annoyance.

"The sick bastard is gonna die…" She muttered. He led her to the perverted idiot's room.

-Dante's room-

"C'mon, sweetheart. I know you wanna…" Dante said happily. The nurse he was after was practically hanging from the ceiling lights; screaming for security. As for Dante, he was on top of the bed trying to pull her down while she holds on for dear life. Every now and then, she would kick him in the face, but he wouldn't budge off her leg.

Noah and the doctor in front of her stared at the bizarre scene. "Cameron…?" he managed to mutter. She looked up at him.

"Is that your girlfriend?" she asked. He sighed in distress. "Yeah…" She looked back at the scene. Shaking her head, she slid the glass door open, huffed in a breath, and began her motherly command.

"DANTE SPARDA!!! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!!!" she shouted. Of course, being afraid of Noah when she is mad, he did what he was told. She glared at him with such intensity; it made him sink under pressure. She broke her stare off with the sick Devil Hunter and focused on the nurse named, "Cameron".

"Miss, will you please let go of the light, so I can catch you?" she asked nicely.

She shook her head. "No way! That psycho is going to get me!" She protested. Noah huffed. "Miss, please come down. I'll personally make sure he doesn't do anything." She bribed. The poor nurse shook her head again. "He's much stronger than you…" she stated. Noah smirked. "No he isn't. You personally saw he was afraid of me when I came in shouting." Noah sighed. The nurse looked uneasy. "I don't know…I guess…" she slowed herself down, then, dropped into Noah's arms. She set the shaken up girl down and let her walk to her waiting boyfriend.

But to Dante, everything went according to plan…Or so he thought. He rushed to the nurse but to only come into contact with Noah's fist. With one thrust of her arm, he was sent flying. He crashed into the wall and glass shatters everywhere.

"Dumbass! Didn't you hear me say I won't let anything happen to her? Dante, what has gotten into you?" she stared at him angrily. He started coughing up blood again, but this time, he looked green instead of pale. "Crap…" muttered. "I don't feel so goo-Ugh!" He began spewing. Noah began turning green at the sight of Dante puking.

"Doc, do something…" she looked at the boy outside, who was now calling for a few more nurses. She found a rag behind her and placed it over her face. She walked over to the now unconscious Dante and threw his arm over her shoulder. He was still coughing, and blood spilled from his now red lips.

"C'mon, you wuss. Stay alive for just a bit longer…" she whispered to him.

Sorry to leave it hanging like that. But, my back was beginning to hurt and I had some stuff to do. Hope you enjoyed! Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Hello, its me again. I want to update all my stories before school starts. I hope you liked this chapter as much as I have. I'm working on these at 4 in the morning! Oh, semper fi people! My older brother is gonna be a Marine! I hope he can get through the training okay….

I gotta tell you guys something. My user names for Youtube and are based off my Ocs. Like vergilsvamp is based off my upcoming fanfic where Vergil has a vampire girlfriend. And Noah the Devil Huntress is based off the brunette, blue eyed character you know and love. I just wanted you guys to let you guys know that "Noah" isn't my real name. Sorry.

Vergil is a good guy in this fic.

Chapter 3: "Oops….I punched him again…"

Noah rushed as fast as she could with Dante's arm over her shoulder. He was pale. Very pale. Probably more pale than what he was before. As for Noah, well, she was green…still. It was odd because she wasn't one to spew her lunch over another guy spewing his lunch. It just wasn't natural. Not for her, anyway.

"C'mon, you wuss. Just a bit further…" she muttered. He was breathing,

But it was in huffs and puffs. She moved faster than anyone in the hospital, despite the ill feeling she had. Finally, she just had to get a doctor to carry on with carrying him.

"Doctor, I need you to take him, please…" she said. It was an African American doctor. She wasn't racist, and she had nothing against them. She just wasn't feeling well. After letting the doctor take him, she stood up and searched for the nearest bathroom. Thankfully, there was one down the hall. She ran to it…fast.

When she got in, no one was in it. She was glad, because things were going to get bumpy from here on. She began puking. It wasn't like her to be hugging the toilet like this. She just wasn't one to puke her guts up. No, it was something more than that…

She devil triggered. And then, she changed back. It wasn't normal for her to devil trigger, she didn't believe in using her strength for nothing. It wasn't right….

After a few minutes, the fits stopped. She gathered her senses together and got up. Amazingly, her body didn't shake from shock. But she was in a cold sweat. She washed her hands and face at the sink. When she looked in the mirror, she saw that her face was pale now. But she also noticed that she was tired. Too tired to stand.

She staggered out of the bathroom. It was fuzzy, but she managed. Though, she barely knew where she was going. Her feet moved sluggishly toward her destination. She literally looked like a zombie.

She finally, made it to his door. She opened it so slow like, it was almost pathetic. She moved passed him. Luckily, he was still asleep. She hated barging in on people they while they slept. It just wasn't right.

She made her way to the couch near by and curled up into a ball. Slowly but surely, she drifted to sleep.

-Hours later-

She woke up to the sound of voices. They were checking up on Dante, who was now awake. He was struggling to keep them away because they had a sedation needle. It pissed her off that they woke her up, but it pissed her off even more that it was early in the morning.

"Dante…" moaned. "Its early…mind letting them sedate you for whatever tests they need you to do…" she asked in her way of being polite. He peered in her direction. "Screw that! I'm not letting them take me alive!" he nearly shouted. She grumbled.

"Dante…Don't make me come over there…" she threatened. He began sweating, trying to figure out which was scarier: Noah or the needle. He shook his head.

"No! They still won't take me alive!" he shouted. Noah got up motioned the doctors to leave, and walked over to him.

"Do it or else…" she leaned to him. He smirked wickedly.

"Or you'll what?" he asked slyly.

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Meanwhile, outside….

Chase, Cameron, and Norman were standing outside, patiently waiting for Noah to finish. They start hearing loud crashing sounds coming from the room.

"I wonder what she is doing to him?" Chase asked. Norman and Cameron both sweat dropped.

"I don't think I wanna know…" Norman shook his head. Cameron began looking extremely excited.

"Get him…get him…" She chanted. They both looked at her. "What? He deserves it…" She smiled sheepishly.

They heard a whistle come from the room. But, when they arrived, Dante was strapped down, the room was, again trashed and Noah was curled up on the couch again. They looked at her with amazement that a girl, the size of a toothpick, could beat up a guy with such big muscles.

"Whoa…." they chimed.

******************************************************************

Well, that's Chapter 3 guys. Sorry its hanging like that. Please review. Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Chapter 4

I currently am putting my fanfics back in action until I go back to school, which is unfortunately in a few days. TwT IDONTWANNAGOBACK! ! *sniff*

Voice: Tough it out.

NO!

Voice: Oh well…just keep failing until your five year old cousin catches up with you.

…

Voice: She owns nothing but the OCs.

Chapter 4: "Half-Demon Puking Syndrome"

Noah woke up the next day feeling better, but it ended when Dante whistled at her. "HEEEEELLLLLOOOOO, NUR-"

WAM!

"Ow…." He moaned. Noah rubbed her knuckles and flipped him off. "Just wait until I call your brother." she muttered. Dante groaned and groaned until Noah yelled, "SHUT UP!" to him. He did as she said for a second, giggled, then started groaning again. She hissed at him.

The door opened behind her and in comes Dr. House. Noah screwed her face up in disgust. "Whadda you want?" she asked.

House hobbled past her and stopped right in front of Dante. "Can I ask permission to do surgery on his head?" House asked. Noah shrugged. "Me personally, I don't care. But you're gonna have to take it up with his older twin brother. If you do, try to rearrange some trash in there and maybe he wouldn't act so stupid all the time." Noah said.

House sniggered. "Okay."

Dante looked at them both like they were crazy. "What? YOU ARE NOT DOING SURGERY ON ME!" he wailed. Noah pressed her fingers on her temples. "Tough it out titty-baby. I'm going to call your brother."

As Noah walked out the door, she snapped her fingers. From Dante's hospital bed, a purple strap of energy wrapped itself around Dante's head and jerked it down onto the pillow. "WHADDA YA DO THAT FOR!" He screamed.

Noah didn't answer him. She continued to walk away, leaving Dante screaming and House gawking over her little "magic trick".

Noah searched her still damp clothes for her cell phone. She checked her shirt pocket, and with success, she found it. "Yes!" she said with glee. She dialed the "Devil May Cry service line."

It rang.

It rang some more.

It rang again.

Then it went to voice mail.

"So sorry I couldn't get to you. Leave a number and I MIGHT call you back. If you have a message, wait for the beep. Buh-bye!"

BEEP!

Noah took a deep breath…

-Meanwhile, at Devil May Cry-

Vergil and Sakura were on the couch. They were both giggling until…

"VERGIL, I HOPE TO HELL YOU ARE NOT DOING "IT" ON THE COUCH AGAIN! ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE! C'MON! DO IT! BEFORE I MATERIALIZE OUT OF NOWHERE AND KICK YOUR ASS!"

Both Vergil and Sakura tumbled off the couch at the sudden sound of Noah's voice. "Damn her…" they both muttered. Vergil fumbled to Dante's desk to get to the phone. "What do you want?" he asked in his unusually harsh voice. "MROW! SOMEONE'S in a bad mood today." She snickered.

"Get to the point already." He demanded.

Noah sighed. "Okay, you may think I'm crazy, but I think Dante is sick." she said.

Vergil nodded. "No, actually, I don't. Tell me the symptoms."

Noah thought for a moment. "Puking, out of character behavior, terrorism, out of control devil-triggering…and that's it for now."

Vergil had his fingers up, tallying away as she said the symptoms. One finger was held up. "There's one more symptom. I read about this sickness. it's the HDPS."

Noah sighed. "You're speaking Greek to me. What is that?" she asked.

Vergil sighed at her stupidity. "Half-Demon Puking Syndrome. The last symptom of it is total insanity. If that happens, Dante will most likely start destroying everything in his path. He won't even care about who or what he kills anymore."

Noah's eyes widened. "That's not good." she commented. Vergil shook his head. "No, it isn't. I'm going to get Sayoraon and Sakura and get over to you. Where are you by the way?"

Some hospital in New Jersey. I don't know. Tell Sayoraon to follow my scent. It should still be there even after it rained."

Vergil nodded. "Be there in an hour or so."

He hung up. Sakura knew exactly what was up and she nodded. "Lets go."

Noah went back to Dante's room. No one but him and her were in the room, so Noah transformed into her normal sized wolf form. She curled up on the couch and snoozed.

Just as she shut her eyes, doctors came in and started gawking over her. 'Go to Dante and stop gawking over me. Geez.' She said into their minds. They nodded obediently and went to tend to Dante.

Like It? Hate it? Oh well. Review.


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